four days & counting

i just don’t get it.

i’ve always considered myself to be a good person, with a good heart. i would do anything i possibly could for the people that i love especially my significant other. i do not take the word or feeling of “love” lightly. when i do love someone, i love them with all of me.

but to be accused of nonsense? to be accused of being a liar – oh no, wait, a drunken liar to be exact, is just beyond me.

whenever the boyfriend & i get into an argument, if he’s done something to upset me, i’m always quick to forgive. but for him on the other hand? he has completely shut me out of his life for 4 days because of something he has made up in his crazy head.

how do you get past it? when you know in your heart who you are as a person and what you would do for your significant other, but they’re sitting there on the sidelines telling you otherwise. who gives someone the right to dictate who you are as a human being? i would never betray him or lie to him because i have absolutely nothing to hide. he means the world to me – i could sleep next to him every night, wake up to him every morning and spend all of my days with him, but to him i am an attention-seeking, douche bag of a liar – fantastic! because what girl doesn’t want her boyfriend to think of her in that way? (that’s me being sarcastic, in case you couldn’t tell).

every person has their point of no return, that point where enough is enough. the sad part is i just haven’t gotten there yet. i keep hoping things will get better and i keep trying to find the light at the end of that tunnel, but i think some sick bastard has turned it off on me when i wasn’t looking.

just got wait it out until he breaks this silence, but the first thing he better say to me is “i’m sorry for making up ridiculous things in my crazy head” or else i won’t even want to hear it.

– till next time.

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