Well then…

by s00paw0man

Remember the guy that I used to date? You know, the guy that was pretty much the reason as to why I started this blog to begin with, which I quit after two posts and went MIA for almost 4 years? Yeah, him.

Today I found out an interesting piece of information.

Turns out…he’s gay.

Yes, that’s right – he’s gay. After all that time and anguish I felt during our relationship and it turns out he was having his own inner battle inside of himself. A lot of things make sense now – I mean, I had my inklings and confessed to a few close friends that he may be gay, but that was just girl talk and maybe even me being a bit bitter – trying to make it seem like nothing was wrong with me and that I wasn’t being a complete lunatic near the end of it (even though I’m sure I was–no no, I know I was). I guess my instincts were on point and he, in fact, is gay.

I never had any closure from that relationship, never understood why he did the things he did or treated me how he did, but I guess now in a way, I do.

I’m happy for him though. Even though we no longer speak and he may never hear these words come out of my mouth, I can honestly say that I am  happy that he’s living his life how he wants to and doesn’t have to hold himself back anymore. I am sure he is probably a much happier person because of it as well, which is all I had ever wanted for him.

But is it wrong or selfish of me to think that maybe a phone call or text message about this news directly from him would have been nice? He knew how hurt I was during the course and by the end of our relationship. I had spent three years either with him, waiting for him, loving him, or getting hurt by him. This could have been my closure. Meh, it’s not that important anyways, at least I know the truth now, whether it came from him or not.

He’s gay – wow! I think it’s going to be a few days before I get over this.

Like I said, I’m happy for him and I hate knowing that he had to hide this for who knows long or that there are people out there who still feel the need to hide their true selves. Nothing is worth hiding who you are and making yourself miserable because of it. Everyone deserves to be happy and to love who they want to love – remember that!

Anyways, that’s all I gotta say (which I think was more than I had originally intended) – goodnight folks!