sexinsteelcity

trials & tribulations

Category: relationship

I’ll take wedding for 600, Alex

Oh, I’m sorry – did you think I meant $600.00? Nono, more like 600 people. Yes, that’s right. I’m about to have my big fat Assyrian wedding.

To me, a 600 guest count has always been the norm. My eyes usually start to bulge out of my head when I hear a guest count of 900 to 1200 people, but it obviously doesn’t stop me from going to them – who doesn’t like an open bar?

No one ever really prepares you for how much money actually goes into a wedding. You plan out little details here and there, “I’m going to have this for my wedding!” and then you see how much “this” costs – things change. Weddings are expensive as is; now multiply dinner plates, center pieces, chairs, and everything else in between times 600 people or 60 tables and it’s a whole other ball game. Some people would laugh, or maybe even cry, if they knew how much my wedding was going to cost – with this money and maybe 400 people less, I could be having a Cinderella wedding with all the trimmings instead of just your basic Assyrian wedding that everyone goes to 27 times a year because we just can’t seem to stop getting married.

I know some of you would also think, “Damn, I don’t even know 600 people I could invite.”  Well, jokes on you because neither do I! Probably half of my wedding will be filled with faces that I’ve never seen before, yet there they are. I’m sure it all sounds crazy, but like I said, that’s just how Assyrians roll. Would it have been more cost efficient and easier for us to have a guest count of 200? Sure. Would we have more fun with just being surrounded by close family and friends at our wedding? Most likely. But we are genetically programed to have obnoxious sized weddings –  we just can’t help it. We have big families, and those families have families and God forbid we don’t invite our parents neighbor from back home that no one has spoken to in at least 8 years, but I digress.

To be honest, I couldn’t run from it even if I wanted to. It’s our culture, it’s who we are. We love weddings and we like them big (that’s what she said). I’ve dreamt of nothing else than having an Assyrian entrance as husband and wife for the first time – it’s my favourite part & now I’ll get to have it.

❤️😊

Well then…

Remember the guy that I used to date? You know, the guy that was pretty much the reason as to why I started this blog to begin with, which I quit after two posts and went MIA for almost 4 years? Yeah, him.

Today I found out an interesting piece of information.

Turns out…he’s gay.

Yes, that’s right – he’s gay. After all that time and anguish I felt during our relationship and it turns out he was having his own inner battle inside of himself. A lot of things make sense now – I mean, I had my inklings and confessed to a few close friends that he may be gay, but that was just girl talk and maybe even me being a bit bitter – trying to make it seem like nothing was wrong with me and that I wasn’t being a complete lunatic near the end of it (even though I’m sure I was–no no, I know I was). I guess my instincts were on point and he, in fact, is gay.

I never had any closure from that relationship, never understood why he did the things he did or treated me how he did, but I guess now in a way, I do.

I’m happy for him though. Even though we no longer speak and he may never hear these words come out of my mouth, I can honestly say that I am  happy that he’s living his life how he wants to and doesn’t have to hold himself back anymore. I am sure he is probably a much happier person because of it as well, which is all I had ever wanted for him.

But is it wrong or selfish of me to think that maybe a phone call or text message about this news directly from him would have been nice? He knew how hurt I was during the course and by the end of our relationship. I had spent three years either with him, waiting for him, loving him, or getting hurt by him. This could have been my closure. Meh, it’s not that important anyways, at least I know the truth now, whether it came from him or not.

He’s gay – wow! I think it’s going to be a few days before I get over this.

Like I said, I’m happy for him and I hate knowing that he had to hide this for who knows long or that there are people out there who still feel the need to hide their true selves. Nothing is worth hiding who you are and making yourself miserable because of it. Everyone deserves to be happy and to love who they want to love – remember that!

Anyways, that’s all I gotta say (which I think was more than I had originally intended) – goodnight folks!

How he proposed!

We took a trip back in October of 2016 to the Deerhurst Resort which is located in Huntsville, Ontario. This past year I’ve been more into making and editing short videos, so I told my fiancé that I really wanted to make one while we were on our mini vacay. Bada-bing, bada-boom! You got yourself a proposal.

Keep in mind that the actual proposal itself in the video is real (some people were confused when I had shared it, which is why I felt like the background story was necessary).

Click here to watch!

Woah there, Nellie!

I think I just experienced the biggest ‘flashback Friday’. I honestly thought this blog had disappeared for good because it’s clearly been ages since I last wrote in it or even stepped foot on it.

My, my, my…how the times have changed. In case anyone is wondering – which I’m sure no one is because I literally have a following of minus two people (I’m sure that’s possible) – I am no longer with the crazy boyfriend who used to tear me down just to bring himself up. Long story short, I think at the end he just wasn’t whole-heartedly in the relationship. Just when you think it couldn’t have gotten worse, it got worse. The lies were never stopping, promises were always broken and I, thankfully, reached my boiling point that I had mentioned once so long ago. I called it quits and ran for the hills. & that was the end of that (this happened just over four years ago p.s.)

What has happened since then you ask? Well, let me tell you.

I’m now teeter tottering my way into my 28th year of existence. I am in a loving relationship with my newly fiancé for almost three years now and I’m currently in school so that I can hopefully have a better career to support all the bills that are yet to come.

But back to the fiancé…

Can you believe it? Engaged. I made it. I found the light at the end of the tunnel and I got through with someone I can actually call my best friend because he treats me like one. It’s crazy how love can blind you so much, how things that aren’t considered normal or healthy in a relationship, you make yourself believe otherwise. At least I can say I am no longer that foolish and I don’t stand for any type of crap. I’m stronger, I’m wiser, a little fatter, but I’m happy. I’m with someone who respects me, who does anything to make me happy, who supports me and just cares about me. He never ignores me, he never tries to bring me down, and he always keeps his promises. 

& now we are on our way to planning our big fat wedding – coming to a theatre near you May 2018. So, let’s just say that things are good. I can’t promise I’ll be keeping up to date with this – I have been wanting to start vlogging for a while now, but I’m the worst for keeping up with anything. Magically I was able to track down the right login and password (from the millions we all have) and I just wanted to leave a post behind for any wandering soul who may accidentally stumble on my page. I wanted them to know that love is out there, you just have to be patient and don’t settle for anything less you deserve.

Anyways, it’s been a slice…for now…maybe. 

P. S. Look at me trying to use capital letters and commas like I know what I’m doing =)

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